He's Just Not That Into You

I generally stay far, far away from rom coms, especially when there isn't so much rom com in my life at the time (because come on, who wants to be reminded of what they don't have?). For some reason or other, I was drawn to "He's Just Not That Into You" a few nights ago. This 2009 pic was based off of a self-help book (how often does that happen, if ever?) and is brimming with big names: Aniston, Johansson, Cooper, Long (ugh), Affleck, Barrymore (double ugh), Connelly, etc. etc. The idea is that there are all these people out there, milling about, and none of them know how to read one another. Gestures are misunderstood, dates mislabeled, connections missed. And so what, you ask? Well, I'm not really sure. Neither is the film.

First off, there are too many characters. I realize the director was going for a Love Actually vibe (but not as adorably cute), but by casting over a dozen easily recognizable faces as everyday citizens of Baltimore desperate to find love, he completely failed to create the relatable, heart-warming, thought-provoking pic he was going for. Instead, you find yourself wondering why Rachel--I mean Jennifer--is with Ben Affleck and not Ross. It just doesn't work.

Just like a one-night stand, this movie reeks of disposability. You watch it, you chuckle, you moan, you check the time, and honestly--you never think of it again (wait, why am I writing a review?). Maybe a month or two later someone says something that reminds you of it and you kind of re-accept that it happened, and then you move on.

So there you have it. It's a cinematic one-night stand, and it's alright. The ultimate irony is it fails to be what it seeks so desperately: to be relatable and realistic because of a) the casting, b) the nauseating predictability, and c) the fact that none of the nine or so leading characters are black or Latino (oh wait, waiters and construction workers come to mind). "He's Just Not That Into You" could have fared much better as a series of vignettes a la "Paris, Je T'aime" or a twenty-minute episode of a chick show.